Title: If I Was Your Girl
Author: Meredith Russo
Series/Standalone: Standalone
Genre: Young Adult, LGBT, Contemporary
Pages: 280
Publisher: Flatiron Books
Year Published: 2016
Format: Physical Copy- own it
First Line: "The bus smelled of mildew, machine oil, and sweat."
"A new kind of big-hearted novel about being seen for who you really are.
Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school in Lambertville, Tennesse. Like anyone else, she wants to make friends and fit in. But Amanda has a secret-something that sets her apart from all her peers. She's determined not to get too close to anyone.
But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can't help but let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself- including her past. But Amanda's terrified that once she tells the truth, no one will be able to see past it.
Because the secret that Amanda's been keeping? It's that at her old school, she used to be Andrew.
Will the truth cost Amanda her new life- and her new love?"
My Rating: 4/5
I haven't read many books with diverse characters but I'm sincerely trying to pick up more over time and this is one I've been interested in since the first time I heard it. It caught my attention as my sister is a huge supporter of LGBT rights and has gotten to know people all over the spectrum. It was very interesting to hear about the main characters thoughts, feelings and experiences especially since this is an own voices novel. I was very impressed with the opening letter written both to cisgendered (those who are not trans) and trans readers. It made sure the reader knew that this wasn't for only people who identify as cisgendered but for everyone. I could not agree more with the story it is important for all different kinds of people to read. I think that the telling of Amanda's story helped me understand those who identify as transgendered and what that means for some people (everyone has different life experiences LGBT or otherwise). I think the author made a good point of reviewing the past and present to show an overall story of our main character and the ending left off in a good place; leaving the reader wondering, but also to an extent content. The reason I ended up docking one star off of this review is because I didn't agree with some of the main character's choices (see the spoiler for more details) and it left me feeling frustrated about the love interest in the book.
Thanks for reading,
Sidny
WARNING: I'M DRINKING WINE WHILE WRITING THIS SPOILER!!!
So to start this spoiler off I'd like to say this book mostly lives up to the hype. It is diverse, it's own voices and the story is both important as well as endearing. I think that this book did the important job of appealing to both sides: people who are trans as well as cisgendered. The story was important to me because I want to gain an understanding of people who are vastly different from me, especially in the childcare field as we meet many unique individuals and families. I enjoyed the way the author brought the present and the past together in her writing to complete the picture of Amanda's life thus far. I think that while parts of the world have started to be more accepting, it's important to realize that not everywhere is. This really played into the setting and as someone who lives in a small town (not in the southern States), I saw many similarities between Lambertville and my hometown. People are slow to accept things they don't understand, even fear them, but with help, we can change that. Overall, I gave this book 4/5 stars. I think that for an author debut this was an amazing start, but there were aspects that I didn't enjoy. I didn't like the main characters waiting and waiting to tell Grant about her past, although she did try. I didn't think that she needed acceptance from a boy to be complete but I can see how she would feel this was important as it was something she had been missing out on most of her life. Also the importance of self-love! Beautiful!
Characters:
Amanda: To have gone through so much at such a young age broke my heart. At 18 I had it so easy in comparison. I felt for her realizing how she felt unsafe throughout her life, feeling the need to hide, being unable to be your true self for so long, depression and life after a huge change in your life that can't be celebrated for fear of those who do not agree with your choices. I think that she was a strong female character, but her indecisiveness drove me a little crazy. I understand that this was her first serious relationship, but to give up the idea of telling someone something as soon as they look at you with "longing" eyes is a little crazy to me. Maybe I'm just old and in denial about young love, but that aspect of the book drove me a little crazy.
Grant: He seemed like a good guy overall. I don't know if he and Amanda ended up a couple by the end but at least he was willing to try and understand her. I think that the way he found out changed a lot of things for him (for example, the peer pressure of high school....). I was disappointed by his reaction to finding out, but I felt for his home life and struggle to keep his family afloat. An interesting love interest for our main character.
Bee: I wasn't surprised to realize that Chloe was right, but was disappointed that this was how the author chose to have Amanda come out. If you can even call it that if others tell your secrets before you have a chance. Not impressed with her. I hope she realized that making other people miserable doesn't change your life.
Chloe: I would be interested in a story of her life as well. Learning more about growing up in a place that didn't accept who she was and how she continued her life after the end of this story.
Anna: An interesting character to throw in, but in all honesty, I don't think she would have remained friends with Chloe and Amanda if she was not partying on the weekend.
Layla: Just a base character for me. The fun, fashionista best friend... mah.
Virginia: A very important character to think about. Someone to help understand what you're going through and has been where you are. I also wonder about her life and people she's mentored and seen throughout her life.
Amanda's Mother: She seemed overall understanding and a realistic portrayal of a parent seemingly losing their child. You go lady! You supported your child through a lot.
Amanda's Father: He annoyed the crap out of me for the first half of the book, but over time he grew on me. Especially after he realized he was losing so much by not supporting his daughter.
Parker: Ass hat.
Final Line:
"I knew now- I believed, now- that I deserved to be loved."
Thanks for reading,
Sidny
