Book Review: I Was Here by Gayle Forman

Title: I Was Here
Author: Gayle Forman
Series/Novel: Novel
Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary
Pages: 270
Year Published: 2015
Publisher: Speak
First Line: "The day after Meg died, I received this letter:"

"It's like she was my sun, and then my sun went out...
When her charismatic best friend, Meg, drinks a bottle of industrial strength cleaner alone in a motel room, a piece of Cody dies, too. Meg was everything to her. How could Cody not know? Determined to find out what really happened. Cody begins a dangerous search to the shadowy fringes of Meg's life where she discovers some unsettling truths about friendship, secrets, forgiveness and love."

My Rating: 4/5

I'm having trouble deciding what to rate this book as I felt so many things throughout reading it. During the first half of the book I found it full of mystery and wondering. I felt along with Cody as she sifted through a life she really didn't know anything about. I was curious about how it happened and more so the why. I have a family history of mental illness and until I was an adult I didn't realise that that's what mental illness looks like. This story is more than sad, it's more than heartbreaking. It's a realisation that sometimes we just get blindsided. We don't know what's going on with everyone around us. It's so easy to get caught up in ourselves and what we need. It's interesting to see it through someone else's eyes and discovers as they discover.
I would warn anyone looking into this book it has a suicidal triggers and I would suggest it for 16 plus.

Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny

Spoiler: I Was Here by Gayle Forman

So this book was something that I had trouble rating as it was so filled with emotions and wasn't sure about how I felt with it. I was unsure about my feeling toward the theme of depression, as well as how the characters affected me throughout the story. For anyone who hasn't read this book this book has suicidal triggers.
It follow the story of Cody, who in a way feels left behind by her best friend Meg who commits suicide. Cody has no idea how Meg could do this, because they haven't spoken for a few months. As Cody is at home cleaning house and feeling like she's stuck in a rut, Meg was in college meeting new people and having a completely different experience.
The setting was interesting to me because I also live in a small town and I understand small town stigma. If you see the same people everywhere you want to keep your secrets to yourself. It's useful but also horrible and I think that Gayle Forman really captures this. 
I also would like to note that not everyone's suicide is evident and if you need someone to talk to there is no shame in going to a doctor. Mental illness is an illness no different than heart disease or diabetes. 

Characters:
Meg: So Meg is a character we only get to interact with after she's parted. We learn about her life through investigation and by what people around the main character are saying. I was interested in how she chose to end her life and was hoping that someone else was involved so I wouldn't have to ask the hard questions such as Why? What happened? 

Cody: I feel how she might feel about getting left behind. It must have been hard not to be angry with Meg and with herself for not realising. And then to finally let Ben in that must have been difficult. I also think that it was interesting to see her trying not to fall for Ben and then moving into him as they connect over Meg. I won't lie that I was angry with her for going after Ben, but I also understood it. I hope that with time she learns to live her best life. 

Alice: She's so chipper and I do think that her and Meg and Cody would have made better friends over time. I was interested in how much she knew about Meg, but sadly she hardly knew her at all.

Ben: I think that he has a bad track record. I don't think that he'll change his spots, but one can dream. I don't know maybe I'm just too old for this girl falling for the bad boy shit.  It just made me angry. But learning about his dad and watching him support Cody was heartwarming. I am intrigued about how that turns out though.

The Garcias: Tell your kids friends about their mental illness. They need to know. They shared so much with Cody that I was surprised that they didn't share this important part of life.

Trisha: She kinda comes full circle in the end which makes me happy. But it's sad that it took so long.


Final Line: "Megan Luise Garcias: I WAS HERE"

Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny

Book Review: Where She Went by Gayle Forman

Title: Where She Went
Author: Gayle Forman
Series: If I Stay (book #2)
Publisher: the Penguin Group
Year Published: 2011

"My first impulse is not to grab her or kiss her or yell at her. I simply want to touch her cheek still flushed from the night's performance. I want to cut through the space that separates us, measure in feet- not miles, not continents, not years- and to take a callused finger to her face...
But I can't touch her. This is a privilege that's been revoked."
"It's been three years since Adam's love saved Mia after the accident that annihilated life as she knew it...
... and three years since Mia walked out of Adam's life forever. 
Now living on opposite coasts, Mia is Julliard's rising star and Adam is L.A tabloid fodder, thanks to his new rock star status and celebrity girlfriend. When Adam gets stuck in New York by himself, chance brings the couple together again, for one last night. As they explore the city that has become Mia's home, Adam and Mia revisit the past and open their hearts to the future- and each other."

My Rating: 4.5/5

I really didn't know that this book would be from Adam's perspective, but I couldn't imagine it any other way. This book isn't your average sequel. It's about figuring out that who you are now isn't who you're going to be for the rest of your life. I love that everything has changed since the last book so it's like exploring a whole new novel. The setting was fantastic, and I loved the flashbacks  I realized that Gayle Forman is not afraid to be real (she let's her main character swear!) and I think that's important so the reader can feel a part of the book. The only reason this book wasn't a ten, is that I got upset with people constantly changing their mind, it wasn't suspense... it was annoying.
THANK YOU GAYLE FORMAN FOR BEING REALISTIC!

Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny ♥♪♫

Spoiler: Where She Went by Gayle Forman

This is one of the most exceptional sequels I have ever read. I was surprised that the author took such a different take to writing this book as opposed to the first novel, If I Stay. I was impressed that carrying on the story three years later and from a different perspective wasn't a challenge for her. She wrote it like a different book, but with some of the same characters we feel in love with in the first one. I also loved the way the reader is given a tour of New York with Mia. The only thing I didn't like was Adam being completely indecisive.

Characters:
Adam- I loved him from If I Stay, and I'm ecstatic that the author lets us explore more about him. His flashbacks are amazing! He is proof that fame can make you crazy and sometimes celebrities are just like us. I'm happy that he doesn't just let Mia walk away from him, but mad that he's ok with her being mad. That's just silly. He doesn't just give up on life, even though he doesn't feel great without Mia he ends up being somewhat able to function in society.

Mia- I don't think she's really changed all that much, except that's she's mad that she lost her family and that Adam asked her to stay. I think she would have done better if they had just stayed together all along. I was so upset that she didn't even really end it, she just let him assume it was done. All in all they belong together and I'm happy they finally realized it!

Aldous- I think this is the one manager that actually cares about Adam, not just about the money. But I don't know much about the industry.

The Band- I feel bad for them, they seem to have given up on Adam and I understand why Mike gets mad because Adam is being an attention hog. I think that all of them could have handled it better and that in a way they're better off without Adam. If they find a new guitar player they will be fine.

Bryn- If Adam hates her so much... why is he with her?? She seems verbally abusive in all honesty.

Groupies- I was surprised that Adam let them fill Mia's place. I think that it was just to numb his pain.


Moments to Remember:
♥Pg. 46
"She left the rehab center after four weeks, two weeks ahead of schedule. She could walk with a can, open a jar of peanut butter and play the hell out of Beethoven."

♥Pg. 109
"She was usually pretty wiped so the conversations were short;a chance to hear one another's voice, to say I love you in real time."

♥Pg. 167
"She handed me a half-gallon Ziploc. 'In case of emergency, break glass.'
'What's all this stuff?'
'Now and Laters. Starburst. Pixie Stix. If she gets too bitchy, just feed her this crap. As long as the sugar high is in effect, you and the wildlife should be safe.'"

♥Pg. 171
"'What a freak! The granddaughter of a retired Forest Service biologist who's scared of camping.'
'That's just half of it. You're a classical cellist whose parents are old punk rockers. You're a total freak. But you're my freak.'"


Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny xoxo

Book Review: If I Stay by Gayle Forman

Title: If I Stay
Author: Gayle Forman
Series: If I Stay (Book # 1)
Pages: 259
Publisher: The Penguin Group
Year Published: 2009

"On a day that started like any other...
 Mia had everything: a loving family, a gorgeous, adoring boyfriend, and a bright future full of music and full of choices. Then, in an instant, almost all of that is taken from her. Caught between life and death, between a happy past and an unknowable future, Mia spends one critical day contemplating the only decision she has left- the most important decision she'll ever make.
 Simultaneously tragic and hopeful, this is a romantic, riveting and ultimately uplifting story about memory, music, living, dying, loving."

My Rating: 5/5
I'm not going to lie, I have read books a lot like this before and so I thought that it would be the same thing mainly, but I was shocked that although this book contains the same subject matter as say Between by Jessica Warman, it is in a category of it's own. This book made me laugh, cry and most importantly think. I thought about life and death more than I have throughout my whole life. This book questions who we are and who we want to be. I think that this book is ultimately to much compared with Twilight, I don't agree with that. If you hate Twilight that doesn't mean that you'll hate If I Stay. In fact, I think you'll enjoy it. It's a completely different concept. I love the suspense in this book. I can't wait to read the next book.
THANK YOU GAYLE FORMAN FOR A TERRIFIC ENDING!

Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny ♥♪♫

Spoiler: If I Stay by Gayle Forman

As I mentioned in the book review above, I thought that this book was going to be a struggle to get to but in fact it was the opposite. Everything about this book helps us realize how one day can change our lives from the way its written to how the chapters are divided by the time to help us realize how much time has gone by. The memories in this book help us see who Mia was and who she might be. I think that every book asks us a question. And this one asks, do we live our lives enough that if we had the choice we would keep living? We have no idea what happens after death or in a coma and so this makes this book far more realistic.

Characters:
Mia: We see the whole story play out from Mia's point of view, we witness her memories and everything that's happening in the hospital on this one crazy day. I think the most important part is seeing her struggle over the choice of life and death. She is unique and talented and at the end there is the impression that she chooses to give off, but I'm not sure. I wish and hope with all my heart that she stay.

Teddy: I cried so hard when I found that out that he didn't make it. He was so young and sweet, lost all because of a stupid accident.

Mia's Mom: She seems like the perfect feminist, stubborn form of mom. It's obvious in the memories that she wears the pants.

Mia's Dad: I thought it was so sweet how Mia seems to idolize her dad. He was such a sweet guy.

Kim: Being a good best friend isn't always easy but Kim sure seems to make it look easy. She and Mia have there differences but no matter what she sticks with Mia through everything (and I do mean everything). I hope if Mia doesn't make it that Kim leads an ok life.

Adam: The perfect boyfriend. He doesn't run away when things get tough and you can tell that he wants Mia to stay more than anything else in the world. He makes me cry in the part where he's whispering to Mia in the hospital. The belong together!


Moments To Remember:
♥Pg. 87
"'You didn't cry then?' Mom asked in a sarcastic amusement.
 'I teared. I did not cry.'"

♥Pg. 112
"'Good,' Kim replied. 'Because if you turn into one of those girls, I'll shoot you.'
 'If I turn into one of those girls, I'll hand you the gun.'"

♥Pg. 156
"'He threw up when you were coming. Almost fainted on the floor. Not that I can blame him. But the dude was a mess, the doctors wanted to kick him out... said they were going to if you didn't come out within the half hour. That got your mom so pissed she pushed you out five minutes later.'"

♥Pg. 181
"'It's ok,' he tells me. 'If you want to go. Everyone wants you to stay. I want you to stay more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.' His voice cracks with emotion. he stops, clears his throat, takes a breath, and continues. 'But that's what i want and I could see why it might not be what you want. So I just wanted to tell you that I understand if you go. It's okay if you have to leave us. It's ok if you want to stop fighting.'"

Thanks for reading,
Love,
Sidny xoxo