Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Spoiler: Not Suitable For Family Viewing by Vicki Grant

This book as it turns out, is now one of my favourites. It makes me laugh... so hard at some points that I feel a 6 pack of abs coming on. I love Vicki Grant's style of writing. She really puts you in Robin's shoes.
I enjoy Anita she is like the mom that robin never really had and you can tell she loves Robin even though they aren't related. I think that Selena and Robin will be friends again. At least I hope so..
Levi is the best. The fact that she thought he was going to kidnap her made me laugh so hard that I cried. Especially when I tried to tell people why I was laughing. CHAPTER 12 IS MY NEW FAVOURITE CHAPTER!
The lady at the library is super nice and silly all the same.
Kay is nice but I almost wonder if she was involved in Mrs.Hiltz plan.
Mrs. HIltz I thought she might be a suspect but i didn't really take it seriously because well... she's an old woman I mean common on!
I like her son though and the fact that he was Robin's daughter was a good twist.
I didn't see Mimi being a Bister... I didn't even think to guess that. I just thought she took someone's identity like an evil toad but in the end she wasn't that bad :D
I like how Vicki leaves the very end for your imagination, like you don't know if Levi and Robin will work out at all! I think they do though because he's amazing mostly and this time I am jealous that she got the best guy ever (even if he was fictional!)
I like how she (being Vicki) created the characters and made them so realisitc!

FAVOURITE LINES AND MOMENTS:
♥PG. 5 “It makes me thin: why does everyone always feel sorry for people in comas? The comatose guys should be feeling sorry for us. They’ve got it easy. No worries. No expectations. No wondering how you’re going to fill your day. (Next time the guidance counselor asks me what I want to be, that’s what I’m going to say: comatose. If nothing else, it’ll make picking my courses easier.)”
Ch. 12 is the best chapter EVER!
♥PG. 57 “I guess I have to tell Anita the truth. Clearly I’m even more tired than I thought I was because for a second there that actually sounds like a okay idea. I roll over to go to sleep. My eyes pop back open. Tell Anita the truth? Admit that I took off? Am I insane? She’d cut off my Visa. She’d be on me like a stalker. Life would be even worse than it is now- especially since she’d finally have a legitimate reason for torturing me.”
♥PG. 59 “I don’t understand her. She’s told the entire world about her nose job, her tummy tuck, her bad relationships, her jujube addiction. So why would she hide some old ring?”
♥PG. 67 “What’s the matter with me? I’ve got to stop screaming every time I see that guy. He’s going to think I’m emotionally unstable or something.”
♥PG. 70 “ ‘Um, sure. A couple things, I guess. I wanted to look up the bus schedule to the airport.’ She waves her hand at me. ‘Oh I can tell you that off the top of my head! It comes through here every Saturday around 11 pm.’ ‘It only comes once a week?’ I sort of reel back from the shock. ‘How do people get out of here?’ She look around, then whispers, ‘We dig tunnels. When the guards aren’t looking, we make a break for it.’
♥PG 83 “Sunday, 3:30 pm Radio Mimi My heart races. Mimi discusses emotional escapism with the world class runner and international playboy named- believe it or not- Joffy Bastard”
PG. 85 “He goes, ‘Are you alright?’ I say ‘Yes,’ as in I already told you that. ‘I’m just hungry. I haven’t eaten in a long time.’ ‘Oh, is that all?’ he says. ‘Well, I can help you there.’ I open my eyes to look at him. He peels a limp fry off his shirt. ‘Dig in!’ he says. ‘I’ve got plenty more where they came from.’
PG. 104 “Kay goes, ‘Morning, Opal! Guess what?’ She’s practically singing. ‘Levi’s got today off so he’s going to take you to Port Minton!’ I do what any reasonable person would do under the circumstances. I gack like a cat spitting up a mouse carcass.”
PG. 118 “Levi says, ‘On windy days, the waves come up this high. They can pull yout out to sea in a second. Lot’s of people die that way.’ I go ‘Gee, thanks for taking me here.’ “
♥PG.122 “ ‘You wanted to go the fast way!’ I can’t breathe. I’m running too hard. My legs can barely keep up. They’re flopping around behind me as if I’m one of those goofy albatross birds coming in for a landing. This is ridiculous. I’m trying to be mad but I can’t. I start to laugh. I wish I’d worn my sports bra. I put one arm across my chest to keep my boobs from knocking me unconscious.”
PG. 124 “He goes, ‘Jeez… I don’t know how many more times I can do this. Would you mind telling me who you’re talking about before my arms break off?’ I give him one of those you’re a jerk smiles. He throws me up in the air again. He goes, ‘Oh boy. I think I’ve had it. This is killing me.’ ‘Good,’ I say, but I kind of don’t mean it. ‘You can put me down, then.’ He says, ‘I will,’ but he doesn’t. He starts walking into the water. ‘What are you doing?’ I say. ‘I’m putting you down.’ ‘Where?’ ‘In the water.’ ‘No! I’ll get wet!’ ‘No wonder you got into Harvard! You’re a very smart girl. Not everyone immediately makes the connection between ‘water’ and ‘wet’. ‘
PG. 125 “ The waves splash up and soak my ass. I squeak and try to lift myself out of the way. It’s like I’m trying to scramble up onto his shoulder or something. He’s going, ‘Down, girl! Down, girl!’ and laughing. I’m laughing, too. This whole thing is ridiculous. Levi takes a few more steps and say, ‘Okay, my fat little friend, the time has come. You’re going to swim.’ I go, ‘No!’ I clamp my lips together like a Muppet and shake my head. I practically crush his kneck. He tries to pull my arms apart but I won’t let him. ‘Gee,’ he goes, ‘I thought it was all blubber but there must be some muscle in there too. You’re strong.’ ‘You’re horrible,’ I say He looks me right in the eye. ‘And you’re stupid,’ he says. ‘You don’t really think you’re fat, do you?’ I don’t know how to answer that. Why don’t we just stick to the fun stuff? He goes, ‘You do. I can tell. What? You want to look like a boy or something?’ He pops his eyes out at me. ‘Good thing you’re pretty, because you’ve got a serious mental problem. Luckily, I know the cure.’ ‘Yeah, right,’ I say. ‘Okay, Dr. Freud, what do you prescribe?’ ‘It’s called shock therapy.’ I laugh. ‘Ooh… I don’t like the sound of that.’ ‘It’s very effective,’ he says. ‘I’ll show you.’ Then, with me still in his arms, he falls backwards into the freezing water.
♥PG. 131 “ ‘You’ve got a really small waist, you know.’ I can’t help myself. ‘You mean, compared to everything else.’ ‘Yeah,’ He says. I knew it was to good to last. ‘Gee, thanks,’ I say. He leans back on his elbows. ‘That’s good, Opal! Small waist. Big… other things.’ One side of his mouth smiles. ‘I hate to break it to you but that’s the way the male mind works.’ "
♥PG. 133 “But did I really have to say I needed to go to the bathroom? Could I not have come up with something else? Anything else? I’ve got a stomach ache. The Mob’s after me. I’m worried about money/global warming/my breath. "
♥PG. 134 “I’m out here all by myself, looking for a place to pee, smiling like an idiot.”
♥PG. 143 “ ‘That’s why I knew he wouldn’t shoot you.’ ‘You knew that for sure?’ He rocks his hand back and forth. ‘Pretty sure. Good thing you didn’t actually pee on his property, though. You’d have been dead meat then.’ “
♥PG. 149 “He’s going to kiss me, I thought. I could feel my hair and my skin and ever little hair on my body tingling. I open my mouth just a little and turn toward him. But he doesn’t kiss me. He just pushed open my door and leaned back in his seat. There I was with my eyes half open and my mouth half open and the horror of what I’d just done creeping up my neck. ‘You okay?’ he said. I just nodded like a bobblehead doll and got out of the van as fast as I could. I started beetling back to the hostel. I don’t know how I looked on the outside but inside, I was in agony. I was twisting up like a plastic toy dropped in a campfire. Levi went, ‘Opal?’ When he says it, I don’t even feel like a Robin any more. I turned my head halfway around and said ‘Un-huh?’ He was stretched out so he could see me through the van window. He had this huge white smile on his face. He said, ‘I was going to kiss you but I was scared you’d smack me in the eye again.’ “
♥PG. 153 “Levi’s probably the reason. It’s hard to be sad when he keeps flashing on my brain screen like some gorgeous computer pop-up.”
♥PG. 176 “ ‘Marvelous! Then it’s a deal.’ She shakes my hand. ‘My… you have such large hands for a girl! I bet you’d be good cleaning fish too!’ Great Just what I wanted to hear. I try to look like that’s a compliment. (Who knows? Maybe around here it is.) "
♥PG. 181 “ ‘Oh. Um, ‘ I say. ‘I just came to- you know –buy a hammer.’ He leans against the van with his legs apart and his arms across his chest. He says, ‘A hammer.’ ‘Yeah,’ I say ‘A hammer. They sell hammers here don’t they?’ I try to look at him but I just can’t. He’s so cute and I’m such a bad liar. ‘They do,’ He says. ‘It’s a hardware store. They got lots of hammers.’ "
♥PG 184 “About the Bisters, People are stupid. We’d probably all rather spend time with a clean jerk than a dirty good person.’ ‘That’s not true,’ I say. ‘I’m happy here with you.’ I make this big deal of his filthy t-shirt.”
♥PG.185 “ ‘You have no idea what you do to me.’ I don’t know what my reaction to that is but it makes him laugh.‘Again , Opal, that was a compliment. You don’t have to look so horrified every time I compliment you.’ "
♥PG. 185 “ He gets my bike out of the back of hi van. ‘You better start home now. There’s still a good hour or so before sunset but I wouldn’t want you on the highway after that.’ ‘Yes, Dad,’ I say. Sometimes I just can’t help myself. ‘Okay. Fine,’ He says. ‘Make fun of me all you want. I just want to be sure I can see you tomorrow.’ “
♥PG. 189 “The doctor treats me as if I’m six years old but otherwise he’s pretty good. He says I don’t have a concussion or any broken bones or any cut big enough for stitches. I just sprained my left writ and my left ankle and ‘gave myself’ a fat lip and a black eye. (Gave myself. Please.)"
♥PG. 191 “I miss Anita. I want to talk to her. I want to tell her what happened. She wouldn’t call the police. She’d track down whoever did this and kill them with her bare hands. Little Anita Martin, Vigilante Killer.”
♥PG. 204 “ ‘Gershom saw us together at the hardware store yesterday. He goes and tells Embree and…’ I’m trying to figure this out. Levi’s shaking his head. ‘And then what? Embree says, you go to ‘kill’ this girl for me?... Why? Why would he do that? You can say a lot of things about Embree but I don’t think he’s jealous type. And anyway, we only went out for a little while. I’m pretty sure he’s over me now.’ “
♥PG. 210 “Joan screams when she sees me too but not as loud as Kay did. (Maybe that’s because Joan’s a librarian.)"
♥PG. 243 “ ‘You were supposed to be picking up some mortar, Levi, not some girl.’ I jump back with my hands up in the air like a cop just pulled a gun on me. (‘Robin Opal Schwartz, you are under arrest for impersonating a hot girl, moaning in public and unlawfully placing your big fat lips on an unsuspecting male victim.’) Levi doesn’t seem the least bit embarrassed. He just laughs and goes, ‘Don’t worry, Uncle Jimmy. Mortar’s in the van. I’m on my way. Just saying goodbye to Opal here, that’s all.’ “
♥PG. 259 “ She goes, ‘My heart was broken too. People think you need to have some big romance to break your heart but you don’t. Losing a best friend is almost as painful as losing a husband.’ “
♥PG. 265 “ ‘You know perfectly well what I’m talking about! I tried to be kind to you people! I gave my heart and soul to Minerva Bister! I invited her into my home. I taught her how to speak, how to dress, how to brush her rotten little teeth- which by the way I spent a small fortune to replace. And how does she repay me? … She seduces my son! She gets herself pregnant!’"
♥Pg. 268 “ ‘I can take care of myself, thank you very much.’ ‘Right-‘ he says. We both laugh. I’ve got fifteen stitches in my forehead to compliment my black eye. ‘Sure you can.’ “
♥PG. 278 “ ‘It was scary to leave the only home we ever knew, but, hey- the new place had Popsicles!’
Sincerely, Sidny

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